


#1

by SourBerri



Series: Vents [1]
Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:02:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29755896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourBerri/pseuds/SourBerri
Series: Vents [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186928





	#1

I can’t do this anymore I’m tired.

I want to hang myself but unfortunately I’m scared to. I’m scared to kill myself. I also made a promise not to.

Yes I have people to talk to but thinking about how they’ll have their own input is scary. I wish to rant to someone with no regards and have them listen to me. 

I’ve listed off methods on ways to end myself but I don’t have some materials that are required and with other methods I’m too scared. 

Hanging is too painful which is a method I was thinking of. Using a firearm wouldn’t work due to not having access to that. Jumping is also too scary. 

I just want it to be quick and painless but that won’t happen. I thought about maybe a train or bus but once again I’m scared. 

I was told it was selfish and it really is. I can’t believe I would end myself without thinking about how others would be affected by it.

I would talk to my parents about it or more so parent about it but she always has her own input. 

I talked to my sister about it and I was told my mom requested her to check my phone since I guess she noticed my mood was off.

I would hang myself in my own home but I wouldn’t wanna do that to my family as they wouldn’t wanna live in this apartment anymore. 

I thought about cutting recently but as always I’m scared. I saw some say it was just sting and that kinda encourage me to start.

But something always seems to stop me from doing something stupid. Which is probably a good thing.

I know I should seek help but that clearly isn’t my choice as I have a parent that decides what’s better for me. 

I remember last year she threatened to take me to a psych ward. I didn’t want that. I screamed and cried about that but now I wonder why would she threaten me.

I’ve been looking for so many methods but most of them are the same ones or I’m just finding Suicide hotlines n stuff.

It seems so scary to die and do it myself I rather have someone do it to me instead. 

I don’t have motivation to do anything. I can’t do homework and my grades are dropping. I seem to focus at all. Sometimes even watching streams and scrolling through tiktok is tiring. 

I don’t know what to do anymore. 

Seeking help is the most reasonable one but I’m pretty sure my mom won’t believe me in what I say and how I feel.

Though I am having these thoughts I’m happy I had two people confront me about it. My sister and my basically step-brother. 

I’m at least glad they are able to stop me from doing anything stupid. 

I had to think about writing this while anonymous but no one would bother to read this much anyways


End file.
